I thought that it would be easier this time to say good-bye. I mean I thought that I have become a pro at saying good-bye that this time would be a little easier... NOT!!
It's been a rough summer, but I have met a lot of great people. And I have had a fabulous time in Houston. I got use to the heat (which I am not going to miss) but I am going to miss a lot of people.
I am going to miss everyone that i work with:
Casey
Adam
Robbie
Jamie
Heidi
Cheryl
Sonja
Bob
Cissi
Lesa
Dustin
You have no idea how much these people have to put up with me. But they have been very patient with me these past three months. Thanks for making my time in Houston so wonderful and fun!
I am going to miss the De Aramas
Brian
Lois
Nicco
Rio
Shilo
I lived with them for about three weeks. The accepted me like they knew me for years. I will never forget their family.
I am going to miss the Reiders
Robbie (I am going to miss you twice..:))
Dana- it was so great to get to know you more and spend time chatting with you. Thanks for letting me live with you and loving on your kids.
Olsen- You are a smart little boy.
Avery- SO CUTE!
I am going to miss the girls.
Tiffany- and my little boyfriend
Ace
Shelly- and Samuel
What you girls didn't know is that I use to hate women. I just never thought that I could get a long with a bunch of girls like I did with you. Thank you so much for our fun times. Austin will always be one of my favorite trips!
And the person that i will miss the most (sorry everyone) is...
Liz!
I realized that I could be myself around you and you thought it was funny. I was never afraid to tell you anything. Like I have told you before I think we were twins seperated at birth. You've become like a sister and a friend. Thanks for being so kind and just accepting me when I first came. I am going to miss you Biatch! :) But I am always a phone call or IM :) away. It won't be the same though because I can't see you while IMing you... haha! And all our little jokes and sayings... Love ya girl! :)
I will be leaving in less than 24 hours and though I am very excited I am also very sad. I haven't said goodbye to anyone and I don't really want to. But its not goodbye only see you later!
So see ya'll later my friends!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Austin City Limits
This weekend we went up to Austin to visit a sweet church. It was also a good-bye weekend for me. I love my girls. Ya’ll will always have a place in my heart.
I walked into church this morning and I just wanted to burst into tears. Vista Community Church is a newer church about two years old. I was reading the program and I just wanted to cry and I don’t really know why.
This was the first time in months that I actually felt like I was “going” to a church. Worship was great and the talk was amazing like always. The way that Jeff speaks is just unique. I could listen to him for hours.
But ever since we left the church my heart hurts… and I don’t know why? The church meets in an elementary school which means each weekend they have to set and tear down. And in a way I really miss that. I miss not being part of something great that God is doing.
Worship had just started to begin and the thought of working at a church crossed my mind. And I honestly couldn’t even believe I thought that. But then I thought I don’t want to work at a church I want to be “part” of a church. I don’t remember the last time I was really part of a church. I’ve always worked at a church so I guess you could say that I was part of a church but it’s really different. I want to go and serve. I have been give so many different talents to just waste them.
Since coming down to Houston I never really felt like the churches valued serving. And not serving as going out each weekend and handing out cokes, or cleaning toilets but serving each other- the church. I do think that some people have the gift of serving more than others and I also believe that everyone has the gift to serve. There are so many of us that just don’t know what to do with that gift sometimes. Jeff talked this morning about how when we think about serving we think about the poor or the homeless, but sometimes it’s the people within our churches that need to be served more. Sometimes it’s our time, sometimes it our money, sometimes it’s a shoulder to cry on and sometimes it’s just our ears.
It’s hard because I feel like God has given me this gift of serving but sometimes I just don’t know what to do with it… I have served in churches (or church) for years and part of me is so burned out by it that I don’t know if I could put myself in that position again, but at the same time I feel like that’s where I am supposed to be. I feel like a lost puppy wandering around.
I walked into church this morning and I just wanted to burst into tears. Vista Community Church is a newer church about two years old. I was reading the program and I just wanted to cry and I don’t really know why.
This was the first time in months that I actually felt like I was “going” to a church. Worship was great and the talk was amazing like always. The way that Jeff speaks is just unique. I could listen to him for hours.
But ever since we left the church my heart hurts… and I don’t know why? The church meets in an elementary school which means each weekend they have to set and tear down. And in a way I really miss that. I miss not being part of something great that God is doing.
Worship had just started to begin and the thought of working at a church crossed my mind. And I honestly couldn’t even believe I thought that. But then I thought I don’t want to work at a church I want to be “part” of a church. I don’t remember the last time I was really part of a church. I’ve always worked at a church so I guess you could say that I was part of a church but it’s really different. I want to go and serve. I have been give so many different talents to just waste them.
Since coming down to Houston I never really felt like the churches valued serving. And not serving as going out each weekend and handing out cokes, or cleaning toilets but serving each other- the church. I do think that some people have the gift of serving more than others and I also believe that everyone has the gift to serve. There are so many of us that just don’t know what to do with that gift sometimes. Jeff talked this morning about how when we think about serving we think about the poor or the homeless, but sometimes it’s the people within our churches that need to be served more. Sometimes it’s our time, sometimes it our money, sometimes it’s a shoulder to cry on and sometimes it’s just our ears.
It’s hard because I feel like God has given me this gift of serving but sometimes I just don’t know what to do with it… I have served in churches (or church) for years and part of me is so burned out by it that I don’t know if I could put myself in that position again, but at the same time I feel like that’s where I am supposed to be. I feel like a lost puppy wandering around.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Summer is coming to an end
My time in Houston is almost over. I can’t say that Houston was a bad move for me and I can’t say that Houston was a good move for me. Being in Houston has had its ups and downs but I know one thing I will never forget… the people that I have met this summer.
This summer was all about me- I know that sounds bad but its not. It was about learning who I was and what I can be. As everyone knows it was really hard for me to move down here. I was scared and nervous and just didn't know what to expect. But what I found out is that everyone loves me and I don't know why? I have met so many great people. I haven't been anything other then who I am and to my surprise they all love me... who knew? I met an incredible man who I fell in love with and again to my surprise he fell in love with me.
Some pics of my wonderful friends...
Meet the Girls: (From front Left) Shelly, Heidi, "ACE" (Candace), Elizabeth :)
She is one of my favorite people... :-D (she's my...well thats between us!)
Hey Liz, MOVE TO HOUSTON!!! (you know who thats from..haha!!)
So like I said my time in Houston is almost over… that’s right almost over. In eight days I move to Chicago. In the past three months I have moved four times (that’s ridiculous) and I am getting tired of moving, but I think that I will be in Chicago for a while.
So why Chicago? As most of you know at the end of May I met Chris and Chris just happens to live in Chicago… okay so I moving to Chicago to be with Chris. We’ve spent hours and hours and hours on the phone and I have gone to visit him twice. Each day I fall more and more in love with him.
As much as a lot of people don’t like the idea of me moving to Chicago I have found out that in the process it is growing me and I am excited to see how this journey is going to go and what lies ahead. I am excited to in a way finally start a relationship with Chris and I am also very excited to be closer to my family and friends.
Monday, August 14, 2006
My wonderful boyfriend
I can’t really tell you how wonderful the love of my life is, but let me just tell you what he did for me.
For over a week now Chris has been telling me that he has a surprise for me. If you know me than you know that I love surprises but I don’t like to know that I have a surprise and not know what it is. And he loves to tell me that he has a surprise for me…just because he knows that I really want to know. He kept telling me that I will get it when I get there Thursday. I started to just ignore him because I knew he was just doing it because it bothered me.
Friday night he sent me a text message with this…
It said:
This is your present!
Now that isn’t the only reason why I love him so much I love him because of so many other things… but I won’t bore you all with that!
I LOVE YOU BUG! :)
For over a week now Chris has been telling me that he has a surprise for me. If you know me than you know that I love surprises but I don’t like to know that I have a surprise and not know what it is. And he loves to tell me that he has a surprise for me…just because he knows that I really want to know. He kept telling me that I will get it when I get there Thursday. I started to just ignore him because I knew he was just doing it because it bothered me.
Friday night he sent me a text message with this…
It said:
This is your present!
Now that isn’t the only reason why I love him so much I love him because of so many other things… but I won’t bore you all with that!
I LOVE YOU BUG! :)
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
The night I went too far
I remember that night too clearly and sometimes I wish I didn’t.
I don’t regret anything that I’ve ever done. We all make wrong decisions and I just happened to make a wrong decision. Do I wish I could do it over? Sure, but I am who I am because of the things, good and bad, that I’ve done.
I knew what I was doing every step of they way. Some might think my emotions got in the way but I knew where I was, who I was with, what would happen if I did this, and that I could easily get up and walk away, but I chose to stay. I chose to stay to get that feeling. Maybe I was looking for something in the wrong place. Okay I was looking for something in the wrong place. But lets be honest… I wasn’t thinking in that moment. If I was a guy lets just say I would be thinking with my… (you know what ☺). That wouldn’t be the last time I would sleep with him.
See for me it was a secret for so long and for so long it hurt. It hurt because what was I to him? Did I really mean anything to him… or was I just good for him because he needed to get his needs met? We had conversation after conversation about how much we both meant to each other and for some stupid reason I believed him, which only meant that I was hurt more. In those moments I felt like I was the most important thing to him. That I could do anything and some how I would be loved (not that he ever said that but its what I felt) but only to turn around and be disappointed the next day because it was “just wrong.”
I got that it was wrong the first time… but after the second, third, fourth time I don’t know if I could believe it anymore. Every thing that he said felt like he was saying it just because I wanted to hear it. And stupid me believed every single word.
I tried not to think about him, but come on I’m a girl and I really liked him. There was something about him, but there were also a lot of things that I just didn’t see because I was too wrapped around him. I would have done anything for him. But I’m not the one who lost anything… he missed out on someone great.
Now to you:
I’m done with you. I didn’t think that I would ever be able to forgive you but now is the time. It hurt but not anymore. You say you care, but if you really cared why? I know we’ve had this conversation. There’s a part of me that will always be cautious. I wish I didn’t always have to put my guard up. But something happened when I fell in love. It was hard to let him love me. I can be the biggest of bitches and he still loves me. I only hope that one day you find that love that you are looking for… someone who can put up with you and someone who you can put up with. Love isn’t all the mushy, “I love you” and sleeping with her every night and laughing all the time. It’s the good times and the bad times. You can’t choose to love at certain times of the day. Its all day every day for the rest of your life. Just remember you aren’t a bad guy and you will find that love that you are looking for... she's out there waiting.
I don’t regret anything that I’ve ever done. We all make wrong decisions and I just happened to make a wrong decision. Do I wish I could do it over? Sure, but I am who I am because of the things, good and bad, that I’ve done.
I knew what I was doing every step of they way. Some might think my emotions got in the way but I knew where I was, who I was with, what would happen if I did this, and that I could easily get up and walk away, but I chose to stay. I chose to stay to get that feeling. Maybe I was looking for something in the wrong place. Okay I was looking for something in the wrong place. But lets be honest… I wasn’t thinking in that moment. If I was a guy lets just say I would be thinking with my… (you know what ☺). That wouldn’t be the last time I would sleep with him.
See for me it was a secret for so long and for so long it hurt. It hurt because what was I to him? Did I really mean anything to him… or was I just good for him because he needed to get his needs met? We had conversation after conversation about how much we both meant to each other and for some stupid reason I believed him, which only meant that I was hurt more. In those moments I felt like I was the most important thing to him. That I could do anything and some how I would be loved (not that he ever said that but its what I felt) but only to turn around and be disappointed the next day because it was “just wrong.”
I got that it was wrong the first time… but after the second, third, fourth time I don’t know if I could believe it anymore. Every thing that he said felt like he was saying it just because I wanted to hear it. And stupid me believed every single word.
I tried not to think about him, but come on I’m a girl and I really liked him. There was something about him, but there were also a lot of things that I just didn’t see because I was too wrapped around him. I would have done anything for him. But I’m not the one who lost anything… he missed out on someone great.
Now to you:
I’m done with you. I didn’t think that I would ever be able to forgive you but now is the time. It hurt but not anymore. You say you care, but if you really cared why? I know we’ve had this conversation. There’s a part of me that will always be cautious. I wish I didn’t always have to put my guard up. But something happened when I fell in love. It was hard to let him love me. I can be the biggest of bitches and he still loves me. I only hope that one day you find that love that you are looking for… someone who can put up with you and someone who you can put up with. Love isn’t all the mushy, “I love you” and sleeping with her every night and laughing all the time. It’s the good times and the bad times. You can’t choose to love at certain times of the day. Its all day every day for the rest of your life. Just remember you aren’t a bad guy and you will find that love that you are looking for... she's out there waiting.
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