9 months!

I can't believe that 9 months has gone by and my little boy is SO big (well actually he is little).

We had his 9 month check up the other day and get this...

he weighs 18lbs 140z (25% for weight)

he is 28 3/4 inches (70% for height)

and I don't know what his head measured but it was in the 80%.

I just think that its funny that my son has a big head! I love it!!

He loves the camera and Sara!

He really looks like me here. This is the first time that I have looked at him in a picture and thought "oh my gosh its me!" Its kind of weird!

(I just want to know why nobody told me that my boobs were bigger than my sons head! :))

I'm here!!!

I am in Cincinnati for the weekend!! Caidan and I drove in yesterday. I was kind of scared to drive all the way by myself with him but to my surprise he did very very very well! Only one major breakdown. So if any one wants to get together or anything give me a call.

:) :) :) :)

Depression...

I wrote this almost a year ago!
I don't know if it’s normal to feel how I feel all the time. I used to feel so good about myself. I used to feel pretty. I used to be active. I used to love to go shopping. I used to love a lot that I can’t even think of doing now. I used to be happy.Now I just feel like crap all the time. I don't feel pretty anymore (despite how many times my husband tells me I am beautiful). And I don't feel good about myself. I am hardly active anymore just going to the grocery to get milk is a painful. The thought of how much I weigh at the moment disgust me (even though I know that I have a growing healthy baby). I am more excited to get this child out of me than to actually see him and that makes me sad. I watch all these babies shows where are all the woman are so excited to be pregnant and they just love being pregnant blah blah blah… and it actually makes me sick and sometimes I want to punch them. And all of that makes me feel so selfish. I want this baby more than anything and I should be enjoying all the kicks and movements (which I do) but I feel so guilty for wanting it out. There are so many women that never get the chance to be pregnant and here I am whining and complaining about it. I JUST WANT ME BACK!

While I read that it makes me sad to think that I felt all those things but truth be told I'm at it again. Except this time I think its worse. I'd like to feel different- I'd LOVE to feel different. My husband told me the other day that I'm never happy anymore and he just wants me happy and that really in a way hurt me. It didn't hurt me because it was hurtful thing to say but I didn't notice myself how unhappy I was. Everyone who knows me knows that I am not a person that is bothered by much but everything bothers me now. My son bothers me... my dogs bother me... I get frustrated when my son gets up from a nap... I get frustrated when Chris is 2 minutes late coming home from work... I get frustrated because I am pregnant again and how in the world am I going to take care of two (I put that midly!)... I don't sleep much anymore... I really don't take care of myself as much...
I talked to my doctor and I am seeing a therapist.

It's very frustrating to me. I want to LOVE being pregnant and LOVE everything that comes with it and I don't. It really is hard to explain to anyone and to make people understand how I feel seems impossible sometimes. I just wish that the doctor and therapist can help. Please pray from Chris, Caidan and I.

CF husband

So I have been reading this blog for a couple months now. Nate and Tricia are truly an inspiration to all. Tricia has CF and has been waiting for a double lung transplant for I believe a little over a month now and as I type this she is in the OR getting ready to have two new lungs! I don't know Tricia or Nate I found the blog through another blog and instantly I feel in love with there family. 

PLEASE PLEASE pray from them now as they grow through this process. And also for there little baby girl!