Austin City Limits

This weekend we went up to Austin to visit a sweet church. It was also a good-bye weekend for me. I love my girls. Ya’ll will always have a place in my heart.

I walked into church this morning and I just wanted to burst into tears. Vista Community Church is a newer church about two years old. I was reading the program and I just wanted to cry and I don’t really know why.

This was the first time in months that I actually felt like I was “going” to a church. Worship was great and the talk was amazing like always. The way that Jeff speaks is just unique. I could listen to him for hours.

But ever since we left the church my heart hurts… and I don’t know why? The church meets in an elementary school which means each weekend they have to set and tear down. And in a way I really miss that. I miss not being part of something great that God is doing.

Worship had just started to begin and the thought of working at a church crossed my mind. And I honestly couldn’t even believe I thought that. But then I thought I don’t want to work at a church I want to be “part” of a church. I don’t remember the last time I was really part of a church. I’ve always worked at a church so I guess you could say that I was part of a church but it’s really different. I want to go and serve. I have been give so many different talents to just waste them.

Since coming down to Houston I never really felt like the churches valued serving. And not serving as going out each weekend and handing out cokes, or cleaning toilets but serving each other- the church. I do think that some people have the gift of serving more than others and I also believe that everyone has the gift to serve. There are so many of us that just don’t know what to do with that gift sometimes. Jeff talked this morning about how when we think about serving we think about the poor or the homeless, but sometimes it’s the people within our churches that need to be served more. Sometimes it’s our time, sometimes it our money, sometimes it’s a shoulder to cry on and sometimes it’s just our ears.

It’s hard because I feel like God has given me this gift of serving but sometimes I just don’t know what to do with it… I have served in churches (or church) for years and part of me is so burned out by it that I don’t know if I could put myself in that position again, but at the same time I feel like that’s where I am supposed to be. I feel like a lost puppy wandering around.