Depression?

I don't know if it’s normal to feel how I feel all the time. I used to feel so good about myself. I used to feel pretty. I used to be active. I used to love to go shopping. I used to love a lot that I can’t even think of doing now. I used to be happy.

Now I just feel like crap all the time. I don't feel pretty anymore (despite how many times my husband tells me I am beautiful). And I don't feel good about myself. I am hardly active anymore just going to the grocery to get milk is a painful. The thought of how much I weigh at the moment disgust me (even though I know that I have a growing healthy baby). I am more excited to get this child out of me than to actually see him and that makes me sad.

I watch all these babies shows where are all the woman are so excited to be pregnant and they just love being pregnant blah blah blah… and it actually makes me sick and sometimes I want to punch them.

And all of that makes me feel so selfish. I want this baby more than anything and I should be enjoying all the kicks and movements (which I do) but I feel so guilty for wanting it out. There are so many women that never get the chance to be pregnant and here I am whining and complaining about it.
I JUST WANT ME BACK!

A pregnant womans diet

So lately I have been starving ALL the time. And you might think well you are pregnant aren't you always starving? I am always hungr and can always eat food, but lately I am just so hungry all the time that my stomach says, "Feed me, feed me!"

This is what I ate the other day:

8:00am- A bowl of Maple Brown Sugar Mini Wheats

10:00am- A bowl of Cocoa Wheats

12:30pm- A Big Mac Meal (I really wanted to large size it but I always feel like a pig when I order it)

4:00pm- I had a donut

6:30pm- A BIG plate of spaghetti (but i didn't finish it because it was really big and I thought i might feel really fat so i stopped when i had about 3 bites left.)

6:50pm- (Yes I was hungry again) a bowl of oatmeal with cool whip...mmmmmm good!

Then i woke up at four in the morning STARVING... so I had some applesauce

And after eating all that I still only weigh 148lbs

I think I might have a big baby... what do you think?

I make myself laugh sometimes

Sometimes you just have to laugh and in this case I was laughing at myself... I was having a good old time... My husband was not... which made me laugh even more! :) But Charlie and I were having fun... we always do though... and he does when he gets to kiss me!

Heres me....

Fat


Fatter


And more fat


It the last week I have become BIG and now my little monster is moving up. And he likes to cause me pain. Everything is perfect with him. He is a healthy baby boy FOR SURE (thats what the ultrasound tech told us... in her words "theres his big package"... yes Chris is very proud)

I on the other hand have been doing A LOT better. I am still tired all the time... but at this point I am guessing that that will NEVER go away. And I think I have come to terms with that being okay.

IT IS?

A BOY

:) :) :)