One of the most AMAZING nights of my life

KELLY CLARKSON!
I love Kelly Clarkson and last night I got to see her in concert. It was AMAZING! I admire her so much as a person. She went from waiting table three years ago to making music. She is amazing. Her voice is AMAZING!
Lets just say it was an AMAZING night.

There was six of us who went and lets say we got the hook up. One of the guys in the band and also the musical director for the tour is a friend of Adam and Casey's. He used to travel with David Ruis and someone else and now he travels with Kelly and is working on her new CD. We got a tour of the stage before the show started and we got to tour the bands bus (which is very different from Kelly's) and we got to meet the band. We didn't get to meet Kelly which was sad but the night was so AMAZING that I didn't even really care. I was just so excited to be at the concert. And we got amazing seats! Not front row but lets say the seats that we had cost $75.

I was sad the night was over but something that I will never forget!

This great LOVE

Do you ever feel like you have to pray more? Or read your bible more? Or go to church more? Because you think God is keeping a list of all our names with check marks by them of all the things we’ve done wrong and in order to clear all the check marks you have next to your name (there would be a lot next to mine) you have to do “more.” Isn’t that one of the biggest lies we’ve ever heard?

On Thursday nights there’s a bunch of girls that go to this bible study downtown called Metro (check it out). The speakers name is Jeff Magnum. Wonderful speaker (if you get a chance check out the podcast!) He pastors a church in Austin, Texas and every Thursday night for the past 6 weeks has been driving two hours each way to speak to a group of 20-30 year olds.

Last night he spoke on redemption. But that’s not what stuck out to me. I know that I’ve talked about God’s love and it being so big and sometimes misunderstood. Jeff has an 8 month old little daughter. He said the most frustrating thing is that she doesn’t know how much her daddy loves her. He said he sits there every day and tells her a million times that he loves her and she just smiles or laughs at him. Do you ever think we do that with God, smile and laugh at him when he tells us he loves us?

The three words that God tells us every single day probably over and over again are I LOVE YOU and the mean nothing to us. We brush those words off like they mean nothing to us because we don’t understand the depth of what they really mean. I know that God loves me and I can tell you a million times but I don’t understand the depth of how God really loves me. It almost brings me to tears; no it does because I can’t grasp that love.

I just hope one day I will be able to grasp a little of that love!

I’m not sure I understand what church is for.

Churches down in Houston are very different from churches in Cincinnati. When I first started to go to church down here I thought they “did” church the wrong way. Worship is just mediocre, talks are taught right from the bible and not life related (if that makes sense… and not saying that is wrong at all), production is not a big quality here, church is so long and churches are also small here.

Now none of that is wrong. But I’ve realized I don’t know what church is for.

I know that all churches are different and every church is going to do things very different from every other church but shouldn’t church have one main focus… to bring people to Christ? VCC is a very outward focused church. It’s all about serving the poor and reaching out to those in need. In Houston most of the churches that I have attended are community focused. Being in community is a key factor to living a life with Christ.

I go to a Vineyard church which is a non-denominational church. But how is that any different from a denominational church? Lutheran’s, Baptists, and whoever else have rules or regulations (I guess you could call them that) that they have to follow as a church. If you are a Vineyard Church don’t you also follow rules and regulations set by the Vineyard Association?

I guess I just don’t understand why people make a big deal out of going to church. I’ve never gone to church every week and been blown away every week…maybe every once in a while but as far as every week… no. I can sit and have a conversation with God and get more out of that than going and listening to some one speak to me for 30-40 minutes. I’m not saying that you don’t need to go to church and that I think it’s a waste of time because I think that its part of being in a relationship with Christ, but I don’t know if just going to church to say I’ve gone is the right thing either.

It was a lot easier when I was a kid. I just followed my mom and dad but now that I am all by myself I’m just trying to figure out where I fit in and what fits me.

Falling in love

Okay I know it's been a while since I wrote something so I thought I would do so since every one seems to want to hear about something. So a lot of people have probably been wondering what's up with Chris... I thought you guys broke up? We did and then we got back together (and are together).

I first met Chris last Thanksgiving when I went to visit my grandparents. One night while we were there my aunt wanted to go bowling and hang out with us and some of her friends... Chris happened to be one of them. We met at dinner first and then went out bowling. Him and one of his then left real suddenly because my aunt and him got in an arguement. He then came back and hung out for a while. That was all. I thought he was cute but that was all. I lived in Cincy he lived in Plano.
I knew that Chris was going to be in my Aunts wedding and asked if I could walk down the aisle with him. She said sure. Little did I know that he also wanted to walk down the aisle with me... :) I was excited to see him. He was funny... and cute... and very sweet! We had fun at the wedding a little flirting... okay a lot mostly from him... :) :) :). That weekend was fun and I left not thinking anything would come from it... maybe a new friend? Little did I know that I would fall in love. We chatted that night I got here and the next day and the next day and the next day and every day since. Two weeks into it I got a little scared. I didn't realize how we would be able to have a relationship that was so far away. It broke my heart to break up with him and I know that it break his even more. He sent me a letter that showed me just how much he loved me. Here is a little of it...

Maybe one day we will meet again and things will be different that time. If we were really meant to be, we will be. Maybe we both still have some growing to do. If God wants us to be together he will find a way to make it happen. As hard as it is for me, I am going to let you go without a fight. Only because I know in my heart you will come back to me with open arms. I tried so hard not to cry, but now I am. It hurts so bad to say goodbye to someone I love so much, but I guess I don't have much choice. I will love you forever, nothing will change that. I hope you find what you are looking for. You deserve all the glories and riches in the world. Good luck in everything you do, and know that I love you and I am behind you 100% in everything you do. Don't forget to smile every day, because everyone deserves to see how beautiful you and your smile are.

I cried and I cry every time I read that. I didn't talk to him for maybe a day and it killed me. At that time I was in Colorado and unable to use my cell phone... good thing? NO! I needed to talk to anyone and I couldn't. It was the worst thing ever. When I was in a place with reception I ended up calling him and we've never stopped. At first it was just as friends... yeah you know how that works. And then I went and visited him and everything changed. I feel in love... :) So thats the story. Thats why I'm always so happy!

I can't take anymore

I’m just frustrated today.

It’s one of those days that no matter what happens everything just seems to frustrate me. I can be having a nice conversation and then the next minute something sets me off and your pissed... Yeah that’s my day today. :(

Sorry if I was grumpy to you. It didn't have anything to do with you.

I want to bake or cook... yeah it's like 1AM here and I'm in bed and I want to cook. I am just stressed out and annoyed. I really just want to go to bed so I can end this day but every time I lay down I think about too much stuff. And honestly I would rather not think at this moment. I would love to fall in a deep sleep and dream about good things. I would also like my cell phone to stop breaking. In less than one month I will have gone through three cell phones... I feel like Steve Fuller... If you are ever thinking about buying a razor... DON'T! This is the second time that it refuses to charge. (I swear I don't do anything too it!!!) And it's not the battery. Thats what the guy tried to tell me over the phone but I got kind of frustrated so I think he finally understood that this was a major issue and that I just needed a new one. I'm hungry (I just realized that) but I am too lazy at this moment to get out of bed and get me something to eat. I need some good Dane Cook. I need to just laugh in this moment. Maybe I will go do that... I will let you know if it helped!

I'm sorry!

I have a lot of apologizing to be done but I'm sorry I have kept you all out of the loop. It's been a weird last three weeks. I don't have internet at the house I am staying out so I can't just blog at anytime at this moment.

I've moved again and then in about a week or so I will move again and then who knows when I will move again. My world is very crazy at the moment.

I am sorry to all those who have tried to call and I don't answer... I am sorry to those who I haven't called and should... I am sorry to some other people that I have made mad a couple weeks ago... in general I am just sorry! I hope you can forgive me.

Houston is just going... I don't love it but I don't hate it. I love my job but hate the city. No offense to anyone who lives in Houston or is going to be... but the city SUCKS! :)

On another note... I've gotten to hang out with some cool girls and just have fun.

Here are some pictures of my new family at the moment. :)








Here's me and the girls... we were on the way to the movies!








Meet Shilo...













....and meet Rio.








and this is Nicco (I bet he won't like this picture up... but that's what happens when your younger sister gets a hold of the camera! :))








And I have to put a picture of Chris! :) :) :) :) :) :)

What a week...

This week has been amazing. I don't have time to write about it at the moment but just keep checking I will update soon! ;)