I have issues with birth control. If you know me then you already know that... and you probably know that I wasn't using birth control because I am pregnant.
There are a couple reasons why I have issues...
1) I don't like the affects that birth control has on a woman's body.
Now I am aware that not everyone has problems when they go on birth control, but I also am aware that your body is never the same after you go off of it.
2) I read an article that was posted on some randoms persons blog about it. The original author is John Piper
Shouldn’t we let God determine the size of our family?
Sometimes people also reason that if you really want to “trust God” to determine the size of your family, then you should not use birth control. The assumption seems to be that if you “just let things happen naturally,” then God is more at work than if you seek to regulate things and be a steward of when they happen. But surely this is wrong! God is just as much in control of whether you have children when you use birth control as when you don’t. The hands of the almighty are not tied by birth control! A couple will have children precisely at the time God wants, whether they use birth control or not. Either way, then, God is ultimately in control of the size of one’s family.
The “trust God, therefore don’t use birth control” thinking is based upon the incorrect assumption that what happens “naturally” reflects “God’s best” for our lives, but that what happens through human means does not. Why should we conclude that the way to let God decide the size of our family is to get out of the way and just let nature take its course? We certainly don’t think that way in other areas of life. We don’t reason, for example, that we should never get haircuts so that “God can decide” the length of our hair. Farmers don’t just let the wind plant their crops in the fear that actively regulating what is grown on their land somehow interferes with the provision God wants to give them. And a family doesn’t just trust God to provide food for by waiting for it to drop from the sky, but instead goes to the store to buys it. God ultimately determines everything that will happen, both in nature and in human decisions, and He brings His will to pass through means. Human activity does not therefore interfere with his plans, but is instead itself governed by Him as the means to bring to pass His will. Hence, we should not conclude that what happens apart from our planning is “better” and more reflective of God’s desires for us than what happens through our planning. God very often causes us to plan as the means towards improving our lives and advancing His kingdom purposes.
Further, God has revealed that it is His will for us to regulate and direct creation for His glory (Genesis 1:28). God has given us the privilege of being able to make significant life decisions because this exercises wisdom and thus shows the fruit that His word is bearing in our lives. When we rightly use the godly wisdom God has given us, God is glorified. He doesn’t want us to simply think we have to take what comes naturally, apart from our efforts, because then our sanctified wisdom is not expressed. In fact, very often it is God’s will that we not simply let things move along naturally. Going back to the analogy mentioned above, farmers don’t simply collect whatever grain happens to grow in their fields, concluding “this is what God wants to provide.” Rather, they go out and plant grain, realizing that God wants to provide not only through nature, but also through the means they employ to steward nature.
It does not work, therefore, to conclude that the use of birth control interferes with God’s role in granting children. Birth control can be a way of wisely stewarding the timing and size of one’s family. One might be able to minister more effectively for the kingdom, for example, by waiting 3 years after marriage to have children in order to enable the husband to go to graduate school. And one might be able to minister more effectively for the kingdom by deciding to have 4 children instead of 15, so that more resources can be given to the cause of missions and more time can be devoted to other areas. If such planning is done for God’s glory and in wisdom, and if such planning continues to acknowledge that our plans are not perfect and that birth control does not absolutely ensure anything, it is pleasing to God.
Does birth control express a lack of faith in God?
Without regulating the size of their family, many couples would end up having more children than they can reasonably support financially. In response, some argue that we should simply have faith that God will provide the funds. However, we don’t use the “God would provide” reasoning to justify going beyond our means in other areas of life. We wouldn’t consider it wise, for example, to pledge twice our annual income to missions organizations in faith that God will supply the extra funds. God expects us to make wise decisions according to what he has given us, and not presume upon him providing from out of the blue. Reasonable financial considerations are a relevant factor: “If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).
Should natural family planning be preferred to “artificial” contraception?
Some conclude that “natural family planning” is acceptable but “artificial” means are not. But this seems to overlook something significant: in both cases, you are still seeking to regulate when you have children. And so if one concludes that it is wrong to seek to regulate the timing and size of a family, then it would have to be concluded that natural family planning is just as wrong as “artificial” means. But if one concludes that it is appropriate to steward the timing and size of one’s family, then what makes “artificial” means wrong but natural family planning right? Surely it is not because God is “more free” to overrule our plans with natural family planning! Perhaps some have concluded that artificial forms are wrong because they allow one more fully to separate intercourse from the possibility of procreation. But if it is wrong to have intercourse without a significant possibility of procreation, then it would also be wrong to have intercourse during pregnancy or after a woman is past her childbearing years. There is no reason to conclude that natural family planning is appropriate but that “artificial” means are not.”
I understand and agree with a lot of what he is saying but this whole paragraph...
Sometimes people also reason that if you really want to “trust God” to determine the size of your family, then you should not use birth control. The assumption seems to be that if you “just let things happen naturally,” then God is more at work than if you seek to regulate things and be a steward of when they happen. But surely this is wrong! God is just as much in control of whether you have children when you use birth control as when you don’t. The hands of the almighty are not tied by birth control! A couple will have children precisely at the time God wants, whether they use birth control or not. Either way, then, God is ultimately in control of the size of one’s family.
If I was on birth control than does that mean that I won't be pregnant right now? If God really wanted me to have a baby does it matter either way? But what if after this child when we start having sex again and we decide that we don't want kids at this moment that we won't have any... but what if God has a plan for another one to come right away?
I know that we have free will and God gave us free will to make the right decisions but what if the right decision for us is not to use birth control... then we are wrong? No matter what I will be looked at as wrong because I am pregnant at this moment. You can argue that we should have used birth control... we should have used condoms... blah blah blah... but its not your decision. We made our decision and if that decision led to me getting pregnant than bring it on.
I don't like birth control that's not to say that I won't ever use it, but i have strong opinions about it and I don't see anything wrong with that.
13 comments:
Why are you on the defensive? It seems like you have support from what people are saying. It sounds to me like you have some internal guilty feelings about what has happened. That's fine, but nothing can be done now. You need to look to the future, how you're going to support this new life about to come into the world. Not excuse yourself for being pregnant or not using birth control, or whatever else. I'm sure that most people that care about you will support you no matter what, even though they wish things could be different for you.
If you have some internal conflict about your arrangement, you better work that out before you get married or bring a life into this world.
Lean on the people who support you. They're the ones who will be there no matter what.
actually the whol concept of freewill is kind of squishy. It seems more and more that we actually don't have freewill, just an illusion of it.
Although it would seem I skirted the issue of the whole post to point out a philosophical issue. Man, I am loosing it.
I bet you wouldn't be pregnant if you didn't have sex.
And I'm pretty sure that God doesn't want us having sex outside of marriage.
So I would conclude that it wasn't in God's plans for you to have this baby at this moment in your life.
Of course, God can use anything for his glory, so let's all pray that he does just that in this situation.
Like that guy, you can probably ignore him. That doesn't help your situation at all.
I love you!!!!!! :)
Steve Fuller is totally right.But what you do from this point on, I sure hope you get on your knees with your partner at your side and talk and pray to God for forgiveness and direction.
I'm praying for you
B.V.
everyone stop what you're doing and mark your calendar. this is (probably) the one time I will stand with (anonymous) B.V. and suggest some serious rug time for direction with your partner.
What you and your leader do from now on is what matters most.
Go figure I would totally disagree with Steve Fuller...
I am pretty sure that sex outside of marriage is wrong but you don't have the right to say anything about sex to me. You just got lucky and never had a child.
I believe that every single child was created by God and for a purpose (no matter what situation the parents are in).
Don't worry anonymous I do ignore him.
Responding to me seems like a funny way to ignore me. :)
Kalla, I wish you well. I promise I do. And I didn't jump all over you in my comment. I made factual statements based on what you wrote in your post.
Of course God has wonderful plans for your child. I just don't think God wants us to sin. So I doubt God wanted you to have sex and get pregnant before you were married. That's all. It doesn't make you a bad person. It's happened to people I love, and that's the way life goes sometimes. I thought it happened to me twice - once when I was younger than you. I sure did get lucky.
I'm not trying to bring up things that can't be controlled. What I'm asking you to do is be careful what you are communicating to others. I'm assuming teens read your blog. I think it would be very irresponsible for you to communicate that what happened was God's will, and that it's ok to have sex before marriage because God is in control of whether you get pregnant or not.
I think my mistakes give me some credibility to speak to this. It's not a good idea to have sex before marriage, with or without protection (but it's always wise to use protection if you do have sex!). Just please be responsible when you communicate with the people who read your blog. That's all.
No one is attacking you. Believe it or not, I pray for you and root for you all of the time. But this isn't just about you - it's about the young people who look up to you. Lead them well.
i honestly didn't want to comment on this post because i don't think a blog is the best place to have the conversation i wish i could have with you, kg.
but i do want to say this... i'd like to affirm what you said in that, yes, your little one absolutely has a purpose (and so do you). the details around the baby's conception don't have anything to do with whether or not there's divine purpose for the baby. i believe he or she is deeply loved by a huge God who is more than able to make great things happen, even out of messy situations. i'm living proof of God being able to do just that (i won't go into details online, but you know how to reach me).
however, i can also say from experience that even when God is doing great things and making beauty out of our poor decisions, there are still sometimes tough consequences that need to be dealt with and that we're responsible for dealing with. trust me, sometimes the tough consequences can really suck. (again, you know how to reach me.)
God can totally take a rough situation and make it better. but it will take a lot of work, wisdom, support (not necessarily support that makes you feel better, but support that helps you move forward) from people who love you (and there are so many people who love you; please don't shut them out), and a commitment to follow God wherever He leads, making honoring Him your top priority. what are you willing to do to make your situation better?
love you. always will...
Kevin, I would like to speak to you regarding your comment. You wrote, yes, you had sex outside of marriage is wrong, but if you are going to marry him anyways whats the big deal.
I was two months away from my wedding day when my relationship ended. What would have happened if we had sex? Believe it or not, it does happen that people don't make it to the alter, and those people still have to deal with the consequences of their decisions while in the relationship.
While my ex and I did not have sex, we sure as hell weren't pure. I still deal with the repercussions of that decision today, and I don't really want to think about how it is going to effect my next relationship.
So yeah, purity does matter. It is lasting. And I hope it shows that waiting until it's approved is worth it.
While it is true that God's hands are not tied by birth control (and by that I mean that He can work outside of it), it is also true that the Creator God generally works within the world He created in an orderly way. For example, does it matter where I'm standing if a truck is driving towards me? I mean, if God wants me alive, He can do something about it, right? Well, yes, but at the same time, I know that He set up gravity and velocity to work a certain way, and so I shouldn't expect Him to work outside of that. I would expect to get run over if I was standing out in front of a truck coming my way. Just like I would expect, more often than not, NOT to get pregnant while using birth control.
Does God grant children to people on birth control? Yes, occasionally. But does God allow birth control to prevent the birth of children? Yes, most of the the time that is how it works.
It is absurd to just stick our heads in the sand and say, Oh, if God wants me to have a child He'll give me one, and not consider the ramifications of using birth control.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
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