Doing the stuff

Tonight and every night this week I get the chance to sing with Adam at a conference that he is leading worship at called Doing the Stuff… which is like SOS but on a much smaller scale (because they don’t have a Kande Wilson! ;))

But the speaker for the conference is the author of the book Buck Naked Faith (I don't remember his name...sorry). Great book… I recommend it. He didn’t talk about the book at all. He actually talked about identities and what we find our identities in. This is something I am struggling with a lot.

I know who I am, but I also don’t know who I am. (That probably makes no sense to any one.) I let things define me, my friends, my job, the things I have, the things I don’t have, my money, my house, my car, and my family. Yeah I know the answer… I should just let God tell me who I am (that’s the Jesus answer). BUT THAT’S HARD!

Last week while we were at the boot camp I met this really cool dude (no not like that!) who told me some thing that is very obvious but something that was very profound to me at that moment, “God is not tangible.” Sometimes don’t you just need God to be tangible? I do. I need God right here in my face telling me everything. Can you imagine what you would or wouldn’t do if God was really in our face? Yes, I know he is here but I am talking about him actually being here like a human.

Sometimes I think… or maybe just me… we forget that God is here. We go on with our lives, feeding the kids, doing our jobs, going shopping, cleaning the house or doing the laundry that we forget that God is every where. Maybe this is just an obvious statement and that's okay but right now in this moment it’s a big statement for me. If God was here I wouldn’t feel like I need to find me… I would find myself in Him. So why can't I do that?

A lot of people define themselves by their relationships. If you’re married then you have found your identity in your life with your husband/wife. If you’re dating someone you have found your identity with your boyfriend/girlfriend. (I’m not saying that all those people have found there identity and have a terrific life… I think they struggle with identities too. I just think it is easier for them to feel like they have an identity. Please correct me if I’m wrong.)

I met a couple who are nineteen and are pretty serious about their relationship. I am twenty and I am struggling to find who I AM and how do you do it when you are dating someone. I know finding our identities is different for everyone but being in a relationship (a serious one) I think would really hurt me (now don’t get me wrong I would love to be in a relationship) but there is a reason I am single, 20 and just moved across country.

There is a lot that I need to figure out about me and life and I guess God new that I wouldn’t be able to do that back in Cincinnati so he moved me all the way down here where I am struggling because nothing is familiar to me, I have to make friends… they just don’t fall in my lap… I have to learn a new job with new people (some are old but it’s still different), and I have to learn new roads that are very confusing to me. (I’ve gotten lost A LOT… but I just laugh at myself because in a way I do it on purpose. :))

Finding out who you are can be scary if you don’t like change. Umm… hello… ME! But I’ve come too far to back down now… even though sometimes it would be so great to just go home and see everyone!

I’m in this till the end!