Have you ever been so mad at Him that you just want to rebel? You want to go out and not care? I just want to make Him feel how I feel at this very moment.
I’m sorry God! I’m just frustrated. I love this place so much and it kills me to have to leave everything behind. Maybe it’s for the best, maybe there is more to it all then I can see, and it’s probably true, but at this moment it sucks ass!!
You know when you get mad at someone and you just don’t want to speak to them? Yeah, I’m at that point. I don’t want to talk to God. I don’t even want to think about Him. I just don’t care anymore. I’m ready to just say no. I’m ready to give up. I am ready to throw away everything that I’ve worked so hard for.
Please don’t even begin to try to make me feel better if you have no idea what I am going through. I know that God loves me. I know he would never make me do something if it was the wrong thing. I know it’s going to suck for awhile and I know that God knows more than me, but I’m mad and frustrated and sad. (And I have every right to feel this way!)
I’m sick of hiding it. I’m sick of being afraid. I hate the whole idea; I’m not going to lie. I would tell God at this moment that I think he doesn’t know what he is doing. How could he sit and watch me be so scared, and angry? How could he do this?
I have never felt so alone. And maybe He’s right there… doesn’t he see I need Him more than ever?
I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You
14 comments:
It's ok to be pissed off. It's ok to be afraid. You don't have to feel better about this or get over it...you just have to do it.
A little somethin' for ya...
"...But before we choose to do God's will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God's gentler nudges. He brings us to the place where he asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate. He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide-for or against. That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives."
~Oswald Chambers
This is your moment. This is where your road divides. Don't let the fear and doubt creep in. You know that giving up isn't your option. You are loved and supported. Lean into those who love you and then...get goin!
God is big enough for all your anger. Lay it on him.
Chicken!
Are you absolutely sure this is what God wants you to do? I'm just asking.
"I'm ready to throw away everything I've worked so hard for"
-wow.
What if in this moment, the Lord of All said the same of you? Ah, alas, He would never. You are His greatest work-as He thinks of us all. You are His favorite! "It is finished"-His work in you just the same, He's just waiting for you to shuffle alongside.
And yes! It is not everything you have worked for, but rather His workings in you to get you to move. And oh, I dare you to move!
-UnDeux...peut-etre trois?
Instead of spouting nonsense (like some on your blog do), I'll just say this: It's ok to be scared and angry. Jesus never said, "Follow me...and wipe that frown off your face!" He simply said, "Follow me." You are and you will. The rest is just details.
***sung in a deep baritone voice****Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.....huh, oh sorrry. After listening to Undies wonderful sermon, I thought we might pass an offering plate, and sing a few hundred verses of Amazing Grace.
Ok, seriously. I'm not sure how to put this without it sounding really harsh or me sounding like an asshole but "You being angry at God isn't news to Him, it's not even news you probably." You only have to read a few pages of the Bible to see a pattern of the people who are most in love with God get the most angry at Him. I don't know why you're angry and I don't need to ever know, but be reminded it's ok. Somehow, I have a feeling you'll be just fine. I know in my own life, I've been angry with Him more times than I can count. Life is hard drama I guess. Well, best wishes with this thing and know that somehow He intends it to make you more like Christ. A truth I so rarely udnerstand. And now back to verse 763 of Amazing Grace...."what if God said that about you....hrmmphhp!"
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)
i too, am glad to be mocked.:)
-undeux, et finalment trois
UnDeux,
You dare me to move? I don't think you have to dare me. I never for once thought I wasn't going to move. Yes, I am angry at him. Yes, I am frustrated at the situation, but not moving as never crossed my mind. I know that what I am doing is the right thing. No one can convince me otherwise and no one is or will ever force me to go.
As for whoever left the chicken! comment. I don't know who the chicken is here... me or you? I am moving (I don't even know how many miles away) and what are you doing? Leaving anonymous comments on someone’s blog ...
Steve and Joe,
Thanks for the encouragement. I know I am going to be okay... it just really sucks in this moment.
Thanks for making me laugh!
Undeax,
Do you know the REASON Jesus was mocked? Because, trust me, it wasn't for treating people the way you treat people.
Get over yourself and your self-righteous attitude.
Undie, I just think your an asshole. Jesus was mocked by people like you because he found hurting people and didn't preach at them. Put that in your anal retentive pipe and smoke it.
you guys are such morons. i adore Jesus- i was saying that he too was mocked. you guys are like all those who couldn't understand parables.
jeesh.
Morons? Maybe.
Cowards? No.
Post your name if you want to call people names.
When I clicked over here I was actually feeling bad about what I had previously posted, now.....
I really want to engage in name calling but I won't. Beinga moron does make it hard to understand Parables, and yet I get most other peoples. And I know Steve's fairly smart (he told me so once) so the only question I have is how hard is it to post your name? BTW, thank you for proving my point in my last post, you're a swell person.
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