Someone asked me the other day have I been getting my praise on. This hasn’t been the easiest week to do it. I have tried but I don’t think that I have done a very good job. I have been on an emotional roller coaster.
I’m nervous and scared. I’m happy and sad. I’m busy and bored. I’m tired. I’m not. I’m mad and hurt. I laugh. I cry. I have fun. I want to go to heaven. I’m hungry but can’t eat. And in all of that I can’t seem to find a middle. The worst part I have myself to blame for it all. I could have prevented all those feelings, but sometimes I am just not that smart.
Have you ever hated someone so much but love them at the same time? Have you wanted to protect them so much that in the process you hurt yourself? Have you ever felt like you cared about someone way too much? Have you ever felt like driving somewhere far far away and screaming for hours? Have you ever felt like you could just cry for hours if you let yourself? Have you ever been mad at God?
I know that we all have felt at least one of those before, but have you ever felt all those in one day? Yeah can you imagine just wanting to pull your hair out?
I am trying to hold on. I’m trying to look toward the end. But come on…who looks toward the end when they are going through difficult times. How do you even do that when you don’t know what it looks like?
6 comments:
"Have you wanted to protect them so much that in the process you hurt yourself? Have you ever felt like you cared about someone way too much?"
i'm certain that this is how Jesus feels for you.
Our emotions, our Earthbound souls are often just that, caught up in Earthbound things. It's dirty down here, and we get pretty damned filthy. It clogs our filters and we sometimes only see the dirt and like operating in it after awhile---it's familiar. well, Kallah, He is fixin' to do some spring cleaning in there. He's bringing light (literally, apparently :) ) to those dark places.
and hey-aren't you learning a great deal about yourself right now to?
"you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride-with one glance of your eye"-Song of Songs
smoocheroos-
your date, jillian
"How do you even do that when you don’t know what it looks like?"
Scary, isn't it? Lately I've been frustrated, petrified, angry, confused, and desperate to name a few. I guess we keep hanging on to Him. Supposedly these are the times that grow and strengthen our faith...I certainly hope so.
Have you ever had one of these weeks or one of these days and along those weeks you hear people having bigger issues than yours?
Each time i don't think i can handle this anymore I hear a more heart breaking story that is happening to someone I know and I just have to get my praise on! Thank You God for being a God who is loving and bigger than all these problems. Who is in control of every situation.
hey sweetheart... totally can relate to what you're experiencing. i'm experiencing something similar. yeah, you just have to get your praise on. it's really true that 'the joy of the Lord is our strength,' even when we don't feel the joy at the moment. (man, i felt like robbie's set this weekend was just for me, how about you?) keep pressing in... you are one victorious and beautiful chica when you do that. :)
battling with you...
Let me know when you take the drive out to nowhere to scream. I want to ride along.
B
"Have you ever felt like driving somewhere far far away and screaming for hours?"
I think this is what Mac feels on a daily basis - if only he could drive.
Just kidding. Hang in there!
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