We don't deserve it

I have been thinking a lot about God's love and how great and wonderful it is. And how much we don't deserve it. Not because I can never do anything right or I am a bad person but because its always there. Its unconditional. He doesn't expect anything from us. Now to me that seems wrong. How can the God of the World love me and not expect anything from me?

We don't deserve to be loved by a God who is so great to us. I know I don't. I could go out and have sex tonight, and tomorrow God would still love me... (going out and having sex is not my point)...but what I am saying is his love is always there no matter what. It doesn't matter what I do or who I am... he loves me regardless of what I do.

I guess for me that is a hard concept. We have to earn everything that we do. We have to earn money to be able to live. We have to earn peoples trust to be able to have a friendship with them. We have to earn responsibility. We have to earn respect. So to not have to earn God's love is a hard to understand or accept.

The way other people love me is how I base God's love for me. Example: the way my parents love me is how I think God loves me. Which is totally wrong. My parents are great at showing love but they aren't God and can never truly show me how God loves me.

When I was younger like five or six I would get in trouble all the time. And my parents would spank me as a punishment and then send us up to our rooms. Everytime I was sent to my room "to think about what I did" (like kids really think about what they do wrong) I would sing random made up songs. But I guess there was one song that I would sing a lot...(and my mom loves to tell this story). I would sing, "mommy and daddy don't love me, mommy and daddy don't love me."

I don't think I ever felt that they didn't love me but I know I would ask myself, "If they say they love me then why do they spank me or why do they yell at me?" I grew up thinking if I do something dumb or something that I am not supposed to that God won't love me or he's going to punish me. And still to this day I think that. And I have to remind myself all the time that it doesn't matter what I do...God loves me.

It doesn't matter what you did last night or what you did last week...just remember that God loves you.