Sunday, September 11, 2005

So Small

Do you ever feel like you are so small to everyone else? Okay well maybe I am small compared to everyone else, but I mean do you ever look at other people and think, "Will I ever feel like I am an adult?"

I do all the time... Maybe that's because everyone all around me is older than me. At work everyone is older than me (And I mean everyone...I am the youngest on staff), at home everyone is older than me (well not Mac and Mateo, but they don't count because they don't really do much), and most of my friends are older than me. But it's not always bad having everyone older than you. I just mean have you ever walked into something and thought, "She looks like an adult? Or he looks like an adult?"

Yesterday I was taking food trays into the plumb room (one of the rooms off the stage) and I walked past the singer and thought she looks like an adult? Now I know that she is a mom and I think she has two kids and I thought will I look like an adult when I have kids? Will people think that I am a mom when I have kids? Or will they still just see me as a "little girl"?

Now you all are probably laughing at me because you might be thinking who wants to be an adult. But that's not it...I just don't want to feel young. Tonight I went to Fusion (the high school ministry) and I was walking around waiting for it to start. Now two months ago everyone would have known who I was...don't ask me how...but somehow everyone knew who I was. Well tonight when I walked in there were so many new faces both students and leaders that didn't know me and I didn't know them. I felt like I was a student in high school. That's my point I don't want people to think that I am in high school. Now I know that I might look like I am in high school but I can't really help that...God made me this way.

Maybe it's a good thing that I look young. Maybe 20 years down the road I'll be enjoying looking young. But right now I am not. Here's why... Adults don't respect students. So when they see a student or me they think we know nothing. Maybe it is true, maybe they don't know anything, maybe I don't know anything...(I think high school kids think they know it all...have everything planned out.) But is that really a bad thing? I learned so much in high school when I thought that I knew things and then turned out to be completely wrong.

I think what I am trying to say is give students (high school) a break. They are just trying to figure out who they are. So next time you walk by a student and think, "That kids a punk", just remember how it was like in high school for you...It's not easy.

So will I always look like I am in high school? Maybe...maybe not. Will I ever feel like an adult? Probably one day and then I will wish that I am went back to being a little kid again.

Enjoy being who you are in this moment...you may never have that chance again.

2 comments:

Erin said...

Yeah, you're definitely not alone on getting mistaken for being younger than you are. Here I am, 24, and multiple times this summer I've been mistaken for being in Jr. High--several times by the jr high kids at Church, and just last week at the mall! It definitely sucks.

sheplaysamartin said...

i can totally relate. i've had adults come up to me after i've led worship in student ministries and ask what grade i was in... someday it will pay off, i guess... it was nice when i was at a movie theater and the guy at the ticket booth asked if i had a student id. :) and i took it as a compliment when a lady (a stranger) told me i looked like a little child (this was right around my most recent birthday, and i was kinda feeling old). i guess one starts to turn the corner on this sort of thing at some point... but no one likes being painted in a corner by the expectations of others. that really sucks. anyway...