So every Wednesday morning we have staff prayer. It's actually quit refreshing for me. A couple weeks ago we read about David's Character. When we walked in the door we were handed this sheet that had this verse and 4 questions:
When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over all Israel, they went up in full force to search for him, but David heard about it and went out to meet them. Now the Philistines had come and raided the Valley of Rephaim; so David inquired of God: "Shall I go and attack the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?" The LORD answered him, "Go, I will hand them over to you." So David and his men went up to Baal Perazim, and there he defeated them. He said, "As waters break out, God has broken out against my enemies by my hand." So that place was called Baal Perazim. The Philistines had abandoned their gods there, and David gave orders to burn them in the fire. Once more the Philistines raided the valley; so David inquired of God again, and God answered him, "Do not go straight up, but circle around them and attack them in front of the balsam trees. As soon as you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, move out to battle, because that will mean God has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army." So David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army, all the way from Gibeon to Gezer.
1 Chronicles 14:8-16
1) What do you see in this passage that reveals something of David's dependence on God?
2) Where has the enemy been challenging your advance in the Kingdom of God?
(There were two more but they aren't important and we really didn't go over them.)
As I looked over that sheet I got really nervous. I didn't want to sit and talk about what I thought about that verse... just looking over it I had no idea how to answer that first question. And at first it was only me and another person in our group and that made me even more nervous because then that meant that I would have to speak... and I didn’t know what to say. Luckily two people joined us (Thank you God). They talked about that first question and I sat back and listened. I didn’t mind not talking obviously, I don't like to talk in groups but also because I didn’t know the answer to that question.
But then the second question came and I was really nervous I didn't want to talk about how the enemy was challenging me at that moment... I didn’t want to look dumb. Someone else went first and then they told me to go...I freaked out inside. I wanted to go last...I wanted to listen to everyone else talk about theirs first. But no I had to go...so I said mine. The enemy has been challenging me lately by telling me that I am too young, that I don't have enough experience, and that I don't know what I am talking about. I wanted to cry at that moment. I held back my tears as someone else went.
Every where I go, everyone that I interact with is older than me... and that is not a bad thing you can learn a lot from people who are older than you... and most of the time they are wiser than me... again you can learn a lot from them...but I think the enemy was saying that I will never know what they know, I’m not smart like them. I am too young to ever understand anything that they are talking about. I am not experienced enough to do my job.
Someone who was in my group sent me an email later that day with this verse in it:
1 Timothy 4:12
don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
It's funny to me because this person doesn't even really know me but they sent this verse to me and it couldn't have come at a better time. I do let people think less of me because I am young... I do let people make their stupid comments about teenagers... I do let people think that I know nothing.. All that because I listen to the lies the enemy tries to tell me. Yes I am young... yes I may not have the experience that someone who goes to school might have, but I know that I work my ass off to prove to the world that I am capable of doing this job.
I work at a church as the admin for celebrations (I think I have mentioned that before.) Before I got this job I had never done anything administrative before. I worked as an intern for two years as a creative arts intern. I went into this job knowing nothing... and on top of all that I had to follow an amazing woman who had been around for a long time and new everything. I love my job, I love organizing, I love coming up with new ways to help the team understand what’s going on, I love cleaning up after people, and I still get to be creative in this job. I couldn't think of a better job at the moment... well I can but that doesn't matter. My point is (and I am really saying this for me) I am not to young. (Donna-the lady whose place I took- is like 50! They went from a 50 year old to a 19 year old. They had to see something in a young girl like me.) I am not too young to make a difference. I am not to young!
5 comments:
You can't really do my job (working with chronically ill or traumatically injured children) and not develop a huge appreciation for the wisdom of young people. I am glad that you were encouraged that "young" does not equal nothing to offer. You offer so much to those of us who have the pleasure of knowing you!
i've struggled with this stuff a lot myself... for a long time i was the youngest person in the worship team (and of course that was made even more challenging since i look a lot younger than i actually am), and when i started co-leading with robbie and then leading on my own, i was really nervous about leading people, guy people in particular, most of whom were older than me and knew way more about music and performance and gear and stuff than i did. i didn't quite feel like a grown-up yet. :) but i talked to robbie about that, and he said that a lot of the time that feeling of being too young (something he's struggled with too) is something that's more in our own minds than something that others are actually thinking about us. there's a lot of freedom and great victory (i think the enemy would love to have us thinking we're underqualified for the stuff God wants us to do) in just doing it, just pursuing the stuff God has for you regardless of your fears, regardless of what you think others will say or think... i'm really glad you're getting to that place! it's a great place!
How I struggle with this more and more each day. I think when people know how old I am, the way they treat me is completely different. I just don't want people to look at my age- as if it defines who I am.
The unfortunate or good news is that the struggle is temporary... :)
I started teaching college classes at age 22 (I was in grad school, but still had my own classes). I desperately wanted to be older so students and faculty would respect me.
Now I am 28 and feel 30 coming fast. Oh, to be 22 again. My point - enjoy the season of life you're in. You'll never get another opportunity to be a 19 year old single female again. Live it to its fullest.
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