There Will Be A Day

“There will be a day with no more tears and no more pain.” Jeremy Camp sings that in one of his songs called There Will Be A Day. I first heard this song about a month before my Mimi (grandma) passed away. She had recently gone in the hospital for a cough that was really fluid on her lungs. The only part that I acutally really heard of the song was “there will be a day with no more tears and no more pain.”

Mimi was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2008. Right away they did a full histarectomy and shorty after that she had several rounds of chemotheropy. During surgery they realized it was a lot worse than what they had imagined. But they couldn’t tell anyone if it had spread or not.

In June 2009 they found a spot on her lung. They immediately started chemo again. But this time was different. She didn’t come back as fast. She was more sick every day. She had a cough for a while before she did anything about it and when she did they found fluid on her lungs . She was then admitted to the hospital where they had to give her plasma (she had been on a blood thinner due to clots) to thicken up her blood so they could drain the fluid off her lungs. I wasn’t there that night but from what I hear it got pretty scary. She said that night that she didn’t want to die. She wanted to fight this. But it didn’t last long after that.

I tried to visit my Mimi as often as I often as I could. During the last month of her life I barely said a word to her but that didn’t matter to me. I slowly show my Mimi go down hill. A woman who was always full of spunk she laid in bed not eating or drinking much during that month. I also saw this just crumble my Papa (grandpa). He sat by her side every day in the quiet, dark room because the noise and lights bothered Mimi. Sure he got frustrated his wife of 40+ years was not the same person she was 2 years ago.

I will always remember the first times she got to hold my babies. The way her face would glow with excitment as she held her great grand children. She would touch every part of there face and tell them how beautiful they were. I even remember her telling Caidan how beautiful he was (even though he was a boy) and she always said. “You can still be beautiful and a boy!”

My Mimi was the best Grandma in the world. Now if you would have asked me when I was younger I probably would have said something different. But after getting to know her I knew she was a special person. Of course we all knew she had her opinions and sometimes she got a little fiesty but through everything I think I can say that she was one of the best wives, moms, Mimi, and great-Mimi's there were.

In September of 2010 she died from an infection and cancer. I didn’t realize how truly difficult for me it would be and to be quite honest I still can’t grasp it. I thought about taking something over to my grandpa the other day with the kids but then I thought what would Caidan think… would he ask about Mimi? And then what do I say? Personally I don’t have the strength to tell him yet… I’m sure he doesn’t remember her all that much but then again how do I know?

I know that I have been depressed over this since she died. I stopped doing things I loved… I hardly left the house some days. I miss not being able to pick up the phone to call her for one simple thing and be on the phone with her for hours! I miss the way she laughed all the time with my kids. I miss her advice on mothering. I miss everything about her!

It will be six months that she’s been gone at the end of the month and I can’t believe it one bit!

Mimi,

You are truly missed by many… and will always be. I hope life is great up there and I can’t wait for the day that we can all laugh together FOREVER! LOVE YOU!