Here is some random thoughts because I can’t really sleep at the moment…
I have realized that I am way out of shape…
Decided to go running with a friend tonight (it wasn’t really a run, more like a walk) and let me tell you it was very funny for me and I bet my friend was laughing on the inside too. ;)
But we have this big ass hill on our road and I think I did very well I made it half way up... :/? I just get out of breath way too easily.
I realized I have a lot of shitless stuff…
(Is shitless even a word?)
And what I mean by that is I have a lot of stuff that never gets used. I just can’t seem to get myself to throw them away, like every time I go shopping I save all my bags. Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal? But the problem is I never use them again. I fold them up neatly and put them into my suitcases until I need my suitcases and then I find a place for them. Until now…
It was very hard for me but I went through all my bags and threw away over half of them. I had bags from 2 ½ years ago! There aren’t any attachments to them other then I think its ridiculous that Old Navy, Victoria Secret, American Eagle, Gap, and Aeropostale all give away very very nice bags. :)
I am going to Houston tomorrow and I am excited and scared…
(just for a visit)
I am not a patient person-well I guess with some things more than others. I am not patient when I know that everything is going to change in just a short time.
IT’S GOING TO BE 92 DEGREES TOMORROW! HOLY SHIT!
I guess I knew it was going to be hot but I didn’t know that hot. And I have purposely not looked at the temperature until this moment because I didn’t want to whine about the weather all week.
I have realized I have been really mean to people lately…
I just snap at people constantly, okay maybe just a few people. And I half know why I am doing it. See I have this weird messed up theory that when I leave some place or some one else leaves if I ignore them or I am mean to them then I can’t get hurt when we have to say goodbye.
So if I have snapped at you or have been mean to you this past week I am sorry. ;)
I have realized that I am not as innocent as what people think I am…
I will leave that thought just like that.
I have realized that being single isn’t that bad…
Yes I would love to be in a relationship, but sometimes being single isn’t that bad either. You don’t have to worry about having to hang out with your boyfriend/girlfriend. There is a lot of freedom with what you can do, who can hang out with… If I wasn’t single at this moment then I don’t know if I would be taking this giant leap of faith.
I have realized that I think about sex way too much…
I don’t think that it is bad to think about sex, but when it occupies your thoughts a lot it becomes a problem. You tend to want to act on those thoughts and it becomes a real problem. (See I am not innocent…:))
I have realized that in six weeks I will be leaving…
AHHH scary! I am leaving a whole bunch of stuff behind… but hopefully I will get to get to have new memories and new lessons to learn.
I have realized that I am sick of church…
I am sick of the bull crap that goes on behind the scenes. I have never gone to a church just to “go to church”. I love to help in anyway possible (and a lot of this is my fault) but I just over do myself a lot. I don’t know how to say no… I don’t know if its in my vocabulary? If there is a need I want to fill it.
I also think that somewhere a long this big road we have really lost the sight of church. Maybe I am wrong and I could be…
I love the saying, “The church has left the building.” We make church this thing that we go to once a week for one hour, walk in grab a cup of coffee, sit down, stand up to worship, sit to listen to the speaker talk for 30 minutes, and then leave. It seems like people think that that is all they have to do. And maybe they are getting more than enough from that, but then again maybe not. I am sick of the church thinking about holidays as a way to get new people to come and experience something more… What about all the other 50 weekends out of the year? Are we not allowed to invite people?
I have realized that people trust me a lot…
I have seen this all my life but people trust me. Which is kind of scary? Isn’t it scary when people trust you? I am glad that they trust me, but I guess I don’t trust many people so I don’t expect people to trust me so quickly.
I told you those were some very random thoughts. And that is exactly how I think of them in that order... ;)Sometimes you just need to write to relax… I do atleast.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Just some random thoughts
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12 comments:
Kalla,
Just some random responses to your random thoughts...
- I am so far out of shape that I've begun to have dreams about excercising. That's pretty bad... I guess the trick is to just get out there and do something and it sounds like yesterday's run/walk is a great start.
-I'm pretty sure shitless is a word I use, but I use it more as "scared shitless." Anyhow, good work throwing away stuff. It is ridiculous how much packaging we get, but that doesn't make it your responsibility to hold onto it. Live simply, you're about to move!
-This Houston move sounds very, very good. I'm excited to hear about your trip! (Even if you are scared shitless :)
- So you've been distancing yourself from people you care about by snapping at them in order to make your impending separation more comfortable? Hmmm...I'm pretty sure that makes you human. I do it in friendships, too. Find the 2-4 friends you REALLY love in Cincy, and work hard to keep in touch. Let the rest go. It's a little bit like the shopping bags, I think.
- Kalla, you are exactly as innocent as I think you are...sex, booze, rock n' roll and all. You're wonderful, bottom line.
- Being single was great. Being married is great. They are simply different states of being, with plusses and minuses to both. If you spend enough time looking at the green grass over here in married-ville, you're going to be pretty disappointed when you get here, and find yourself longing for the equally green grass over in single-ville. Live where you are.
- I think about sex way too much, too! And I get plenty of it! You're right, it's unhealthy to focus on any one thing too much...the question I'm beginning to ask myself is, "what purpose does thinking about sex serve in my life?" and then "how can I meet that need in other ways?"
- Sick of church? Join the club. Maybe you need to do like I did and get away from it for a few months. Then come back as an attender, not as an employee. It's doing wonders for me...
- People trust you....that's good. And the better you do with that trust, the more people will trust you with. So at some point...you gotta decide...do I want to be a trustworthy person, or not? 'Cause I'm telling you, you do a good enough job, and people will open up to you more than you've ever expected.
Just a few random responses. Thanks for the post!
Peace,
Justin
make sure you keep a journal while in Houston (after the move).. not just a blog, but a real, balls to the wall journal.. i've always looked for a situation to use the phrase "balls to the wall". :o)
yeah, don't stop setting an example in really keeping it real for the rest of us when you get to Houston. Always enjoy reading.
and Justin, that was great comment.
ok, is my nose brown enough for a monday? oh that's right, it's already pretty brown ;-)
"he didn't just say that!"
So do you have a church that you'd go to in Houston? Howdy from Q Cafe in Seattle! It's only 50 here right now, but I know in LA it is in the 70's...
If you need help clearing out stuff, I'd love to help!
Yeah, I find I think of sex way too much if I've been watching too much crappy TV. I watched the "Thomas Crowne Affair" last night. Good thing that Erin told me where to fast forward. EEK.
why do i have this sudden urge to sing britney spears songs? 'oops, i did it again/ went to old navy/ brought home a new bag... ooh baby...' :)
you haven't snapped at me at all. i feel unloved. :)
seriously, i adore you. have an amazing time in houston, and bring me back a hug. :)
(i like ending paragraphs with smiley faces, apparently. or maybe you just make me smile.)
please come home. It's no fair that you only have six weeks left and you are spending one of them in Houston with the thieves who are stealing you. I think from here on out I am going to refer to them as "The Others."
I hope you are having fun, learning, exploring, soaking up some sun, resting and missing me:-)
I love you,
B
I don't think that you have to worry about missing you... I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!! :(
this is bullshit. you can't move away.
Bullshit? That I am moving away...
a lovers quarrel?
There are way too many anonymous people!
You should at least feel loved by the fact that there are half a dozen anonymous people posting on your blog. That or you really have on anonymous poster, who has mulitple personality disorder, in which case you a loved a lot by half a dozen personalies in the same body.
~Nayt
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