Coming down off of a high…
I have never done drugs but for me being really stressed out and having two minutes to get something done is very exciting. That feeling of “holy shit I have two minutes.”
Last night we had our preview event for D’Vine. I put together all the tech stuff and I loved it. When I used to work in Student Ministries it was a regular thing. I was always in charge of making sure everything was running and everyone knew what was happening and when. It has been six months since I have had that feeling and let me tell you it was AMAZING! ( ;) )
I know this is a very weird feeling so I am going to try and explain it. I always know that everything is working. I have checked my work 600 times. I know the video plays. I know the music works. I know the PPT works. I know it all. But for some reason there is always that fear. What if it doesn’t work when I need it to? What if right before something gets unplugged and I don’t know what happened? (That has happened before)
But for some odd reason I think that fear is what drives me in those moments. I have done this over 200 times and things have gone wrong maybe 5 times. In the end everything works out. And most of the time nobody knows that something went wrong but YOU (me)!
It’s so different for me though. I mean have you ever been in a service and the don’t change the PPT right away and your looking around like come on? Or the video plays but no sound? Maybe because I know all of that stuff when I see it I think, “Oh man that sucks.” When something doesn’t play right or go the way that you had expected you freak out and the whole service was bad. Even if one thing went wrong and nobody knew it… it was a bad service for you because you have failed at your job. (I am saying you a lot but I really mean me.)
But that high right before you are supposed to do something is the best in the world. Your heart feels like it is beat 1000 times a minute. I imagine a lot of you have felt this before in different situations. Maybe right before you are supposed to speak or maybe right before you are supposed to go lead worship? I think we all have that high just in different situations.
I guess I just wish I could experience that high a lot more.
7 comments:
you did a fabulous job, drama-free tech queen! you rock!
wow I have always sort of felt that way but I always thought it was me.
You did an AMAZING job on Sunday night :-))) AMAZING post :-) Amazing, amazing stuff!
Seriously, you rock...you did a great job....I am so proud of you and you never cease to impress me with your maturity, talent and character!
I love that moment, too. When everything you've worked for culminates into one moment where it either rocks or sucks. Your stomach is up in your throat and your heart is beating out of your chest... and then BOOM it all goes off without a hitch. God is is so cool for giving us that feeling when something we've worked so hard to put together works beautifully. I get that feeling everytime I send a bride down the aisle and shut the doors behind her. It's like I've orchestrated a tiny play and everyone has played their part perfectly. Probably sounds wierd...but anyway, I know how you feel and it's cool!
B
I also like getting high.
sounds to me like you enjoy adrenaline rush. one should be careful of such an addiction. It can lead to spontaneous adventures and an active life. Which have been shown lead to higher mortality rates in teens and young adults.
i feel that way all the time! i hate it, but love it all the same. hope you're doing okay!!!
oh Steve, i love how you embrace the mess. it's all great!
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