I play back the day Kloe was born in my head every time I look at her.
I went to Walgreens that late afternoon to do some pretty sweet deals. I had been having sharp pains in my lower stomach for a couple days and I had forgot to mention it to my doctor that Tuesday at my appointment. When I got in the car as I was leaving Walgreens the pains got really bad. I had to meet Chris at Walmart (he was on shift) and I told him about it. He told me to go to the hospital since he (and I knew I just didn't want to go knowing that I would go get shots and go home) knew thats what my doctor would say. I told him I would call my doctor. I tried to page him on my way to the hospital after my husband convinced me to go but by the time I got there he hadn't called me back (which is very unusual). I went to OB unit they hooked me up and of course with in 5 minutes I was given a shot. I was having contractions A LOT! I don't know if I was just so used to the contractions that I didn't even notice them or if they had just started either way I was having more than they liked. About 15 minutes later the nurse came into give me the second shot when she told me the news. She said she had just told the nurse that she didn't think my contractions were going to stop and right after she said that the on call doctor (will call him Cassidy) called and said give her one more shot if they don't stop in 20 minutes we will do a C-section (since I had one scheduled any way).
I was in COMPLETE SHOCK! Now everyone knows that I wanted that baby out more than anything but I seriously didn't expect that. I IMMEDIATELY called Chris and told him (i think he was in shock too). The problem was was right as I was calling Chris they got called out on a call. Now the nurse told me it wasn't an emergancy and they weren't rushing... GREAT! Now I didn't have to worry wether or not my husband was going to make it or not.
I honestly don't remember what time they had taken me back to the O.R. I know that I show Chris for a nano second (they let me give him a kiss and off I went). It was much different this time. I was more aware of what was going on then last time. It took three times to get my spinal (OUCH)!!!! Then I got really sick (I almost vomited but YEAH for me I didn't this time). It was just from the spinal because my blood pressure dropped so quickly. Luckily I told the anesthesiologist before hand and she had medicine on hand (she told me afterwards that she had to give me a lot more than normal for my blood pressure to go back up. Then they prepped me shaved me (which was a horrible shave job), put these cool little things on my legs that felt like they were being massage (even though I could feel them because haha my legs were numb), put iodine all over my belly and the next thing Cassidy says he's going to pinch my stomach to see if I feel anything (now i don't remember a lot from my first c-section but I do remember the my doctor asked me about this and I said i felt some thing and they askd if it was painful and I said no). So I am laying there Chris comes in Cassidy goes, "I'd shake your hand but that would probably not be good." Chris laughs and says something along the lines of Yeah that wouldn't be good. Then I look at Chris and he said I love you and I said I love you and I asked him if they had started and he said yeah they are almost at the baby! I was so confused because I thought they were going to ask me if I had felt anything... obviously I didn't. A couple minutes later she was born and the doc said she's a good weight. I was dying to see her. I was so overwhelmed by the fact that I was a mother AGAIN! (and that she didn't have red hair- God knows I couldn't handle it).
It wasn't long after that that I was wheeled into my room. My mother in law and one of my best friends was standing out there and I asked how much she weighed and they said 7lbs 9oz! I was laughing! I just delivered a 36 weeker who was 7lbs 9oz! I could have had a 9lb baby if she would have waited. I remember sitting in the room with the after surgery nurse (there is a name I just can't remember) as she was doing everything she was doing and my mother in law and friend came into the room. Not to long after that the pediatrician came in and said that she was having a little trouble breathing and they were just giving her some oxygen to give her some help. Then Chris walked in and I saw his face. It wasn't a good face. He was worried. But some how through everything I stayed calm. I knew she would be okay. Then the pediatrician came in again informing us that she was going to need to be transferred. They couldn't get her breathing under control enough to make them happy. She was breathing a little faster than normal. Chris came in bawling and I had cried a tear. I really didn't know what he had been going through. They told us that the team that was coming to get her would be there around 1:30am and they would let me see her and then take her to the hospital.
I was doing okay until the wheeled her in on a cot in a incubator type thing. I waited till she left and I lost it. My little girl who was about 5 hours old I had only got to see for five minutes. I hadn't even had the chance to hold her. And I had really no good pictures of her. Only two polaroids from the hospital that the nurse had taken for me. But not long after I was okay and feel asleep with the help of some benedryl because I get an allergic reaction to the medicine that helps me not get sick in surgery.
I went to bed that night knowing that they were going to let me go home the next day as long as I could get up and walk around okay and was urinating okay (because of the catheter). That morning came and I couldn't wait to see her and hold her. I got to hold her that day and the next and the next and the next. But unless you have ever had your child in the NICU you will never know what I have felt.
I think about her first week and how as a mom you have so much planned to do all her first things. And all those things didn't happen or just got delayed. I wasn't the first one to feed her, I wasn't the first one to give her a sponge bath, I wasn't the first one to get to "really" hold her. I cherish ever minute with her now because I honestly don't know what I would do with out her. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was leave her that first night. I knew she was in good hands but to not be there her first night and wake up with her when she cried was hard. Did I enjoy and needed my much needed sleep? YES! but I would trade that any day to have her with me her first night.
It was a big struggle for us to have her in the hospital for those 7 days but I thank God each and every day that my little girl is perfect! I thank him that it was only 7 days and not longer because I was getting really depressed. It was a hard pregnancy with her and I didn't expect it to be a hard week after she was born. But now that she is here I can't believe it. I LOVE HER more than I thought I ever could.
